my so called friends.

oh i have friends
most dun last more than 3 months.
i have friends who 'think' they know me.
but they really don't.
i have some good frens
but i amazingly manage to push them away
by being me.

i only have frens when i'm fun and happy.
when i'm a bitch n depressed.
they shunt away me.
or rather they rather didn't know i exist.
no one persisted to be beside me.
no one.

they have their lives.
they have their own frens
their own partners, families.
i can only say this
because i have no value to them.
i am a fren less valued.
a fren one rather not have.

i'm just too difficult to have around.
too much a pain.

if only they knew my pain.