"I wanna tell you something, at a certain point in your life, probably when too much of it has gone by. You will open your eyes, and see yourself for who you are. Especially for everything that made you so different from all the awful normals. And you will say to yourself but I am this person, and in that statement, there will be a kind of love. " - Phoebe In Wonderland

April 26, 2012

the end of hibernation

i said enough. 
i have to up myself.
i am shit cos i did it to myself.
i am crazy cos i led myself to it.
i choose the easier path.
i tot i was special.
i was delusional.
following the main stream
seems to be the only way.
i used to think time was never a hindrance.
now i am running out of time
there's a reason why certain events
happen during a particular point in one's life.
but it seems mine was always delayed.
i learn things slower than others.
it took me longer to understand the reality of life.

i chose to believe it was nature and nurture that made me who i am.
but in fact it was my own doing.
i have nothing but myself.
myself as friend.
myself as enemy.
myself as confidant.
myself as counselor.
myself as adviser.
myself as slave.
why? cos no one understood me better than myself.

i could make things happen.
i could stop things from happening.
to myself.
i was playing with my life.
a life less valued.
by me.
if one can not love oneself
how will the others?

No comments: