i have nothing....

when life has no meaning.
no purpose, no intent, no ambition,
no desire, no hope, no direction,
no vision, no wish, no aspiration,
no friends, no family, no love one,
and not forgetting no money...
Life is like a blank piece of paper.

the paper is a void.

When a person becomes this blank piece of paper.
is there still light at the end of the tunnel?
it all depends on the individual.

possibilities are abundant yet limited.
time is infinite yet antagonistic.
fear immobilizes yet strengthens.
curiosity motivates yet deadly.

i have nothing,
and will have nothing,
if i do nothing.

self fulfilling prophecy

I only have one person to blame for denying the life i could have had.
myself. 

my life journey is almost like a test of all sorts.
testing theories, hypothesis, and life philosophies.
not knowing the significances of these test.
results sometimes or rather most of the time screwing up my life
so bad i cause my own depression.
haha

The second decade of my life can be summarized with the following hypothesis....

1. could man's love replace God's love? .....No
2. can girls also lust with out love?  .....No
3. life in poverty have more life experiences...  ....Maybe
4. being poor will understand the importance of saving...  saving...

i'm writing this cos i know it'll slip away unnoticed... boo.

between a rock and a hard place

Sigh.... its bad enough i'm such a fickle person.
Suddenly there's been plenty of issues to be decided upon.

when it comes to making decisions...
there are many elements aiding the choices
and knowledge is one of those elements.
to be able to recognize and accept the results is the deciding factor

from deciding what to eat, to determining my future
I have to settle on one out of the multiple options
if I'm lucky I get to pick two or more.
but what are the odds
especially when its about my life,
and possibly my future.
i wished i had some answers or a glimpse of tomorrow

How do I make a decision when I've the
"you won't know if you don't try" kinda attitude
time is the other element.
is it on my side... or is it not?

when I'm stuck at a ' Y ' junction, I'd
weigh the possibilities
examine the consequences
source for solutions
evaluate my personalities
and concur.
i hope.

There are times when i didn't need to think.
there are times when I've decided way before its time.
at times i take 3 seconds, 3 minutes, or even 3 hours.
and other times i took 3 days, 3 months,
and if I've the luxury of time 3 years.

But now its happiness vs money
the life long battle since our fore fathers
and it has and will remain this way.

happier person or a wealthier person?
better job prospect Vs studies
the industry i love Vs the industry that i can excel in

is the course right for me?
which course should i pursue?
will i pursue the industry i studied?
should i go back to previous vocation?
or should i start a new?
am i suited for this new industry?
i know i'm versatile but is the job flexible?

so many qns. so little ans.

The Power Of Honesty

the power of honesty

is forgiveness....

when one has the courage

to be honest and share the truth...

that the other party should

or will also have the courage

to forgive...

try it....

its liberating....

i just did...

awesome-ness

Had the most exhausting week ever....
entering another long n treacherous week...
tons n tons of things to do...
work never ending... while brain malfunctions
and l'il macky giveing minor problems ...
making me slightly paranoid...
maybe need to send him to hospital aka sapora...
which i'm sooooo reluctant to...

my personal todo list is buliding up like a sky scraper
lack of slp isn't helping... insomnia pls leave me alone
total hours of slp i have a week doesn't even add up to 30hrs
i need water... i need slp... i need pain killers....
bad neck... bad back... bad shoulders...

OH LORD.... pls give me strength to sustain this coming week....
Thanks....

sorry for all the lamentings...
Just wanna Thank a couple of ppl...

Terrence... thanks for letting me help u... its been awhile that i've writen a script... sorry for being late for rehearsals.... struggling with work n this is really quite painful... i think i'm more stress n physically tired as compared to the previous production earlier tis year...

Artists n crew of JUICEZ production and events company... thanks for letting me part of u guys... knowing how much older i m yet not despising me... i hope u guys manage to learn sth from me as much as i have learnt from u....

Simon thanks for helping me n my bro with the painting.... u work very fast!! woohoo... Thank u so much.... my hand, arm n neck super sore now....

lastly
Bern.... for tolerating my rubbish in office.... i know wat to do...

ok off to bed...
nites world....

the measure of love 愛情的標準

不是誰給的多或少
就是衡量愛情的標準
重要的是
你能夠為對方付出多少
生命給了我們靈魂
可是沒有教我們該怎麼走
所以在情感的路上
兩個人必須風雨同舟
因為愛情是一種遇見
不能等待也沒有準備

林曉柔 <<醉後注定愛上你>>


it is not how much one is able to provide
that measures up to one's expectations.
its how much one is able to sacrifice
that's more important

life gave us soul
but it didnt teach us which path to take
so upon this journey of love
we have to beat the odds together
bcos love is coincidental
you can neither wait nor be prepared for it.

- lin xiao ru "love you"

touched....

wow... this is amazing.... Thanks maria....

i'm totally thrilled when a friend told me that she 'follows' my blog...

the first thing that came to my mind was '' wow some crazy people out there actually wanna read my crap!!! is that cool or wat!!!" hahaha

Be it for entertainment (cos they're bored outta their pants or their mouse randomly clicked onto my blog) or inspiration (i can be quite motivating too man!! u haven't see my power of DIssuasion hahaha) or even for updates of yours truly (happening n not so happenings abt my oh so boring yet busy life)...

i mean this means alot to me...

For those who are reading this for the first time... thanks for tuning in... i hope to bring u more crap soon... but for those who've been faithfully checking up my dusty cob webbed blog... u've noticed i've recently revamped it a little bit... ok whole lot la.

it used to be a dark, pessimistic, melancholic, rebellious, depressive blog where i post dreadfully oppressing stuff... hating people, hating wat they do, hating everything including myself... eventually killing myself and going to heaven and here i am writing to you... yeah right... hahaha

Although i'm not in heaven YET! *happy gasp* thankfully....

i'd like to tell the whole world that life is really not as bad as most people put it.

And when people say time will tell.... they really do...

Many things in life takes time to experience and as some people put it "u're destined to..." and i believe that God has prepared everything for us nicely.... he is like person behind the computer in fast and furious controlling all the traffic lights... if we screw up he'll create an opening for us to go... everything is all planned for... by him... even the lessons we have to learn (the hard way).
hey don't get me wrong... i don't mean that God planned the bad things upon us... HE knows we will make mistakes cos we are human, but HE hopes that we don't sin or continue sinning....

You must be thinking "aw u're saying this cos my life is sweet now..."

NO. my life isn't.... in fact its the opposite. i dun need hang my dirty laundry in public but i can tell u my life is not the best right now.

But i think bcos of this.... it has gotten me to think that if life isn't so bad... why make it worse by being grumpy n grouchy n be a pest to everyone ard me, when i can be happy? The problem wouldn't go away but at least life is bearable for me and everyone else.

so i say to ALL OF YOU reading this blog...

Try.... (why do i say try? cos i know its so damn hard!!) to be HAPPY...

Constantly find things to thank God for...

ESPECIALLY the bad things...

Thank God for the annoying people ard me...

if they dun irritate me i might be able to learn how to be patient.

Thank God for things screwing up last min or not going to plan...

if all things go smoothly and as to plan i would be conceited and will not be able to think critically on my feet.

Thank God for mistakes...

if not for mistakes... i wouldn't be able to learn from them.

Lastly,

Thank God for letting me be me...

if i were someone else... there won't be this blog!!

hahahahaha.....

AWESOME!!!!

kekekeke

i know u love me la other wise u won't be reading tis... :p

Thank you for Thanking God for me...

at least i made u laugh.... keke...

REJOICE REJOICE REJOICE

Rejoice in the Lord always. Not only in the good times but more in the BAD times. For God is GOOD all the time. He will NEVER have bad things happen to us but when they do happen... HE WILL make 'em Good.

enlightenment....

Wondering where u r

Wondering where u've been

Knowing u're not far

Patience wearing thin

i use to think that people who could not stay single
were needy and attention seeking
but not long ago... i realize i was wrong
when love came knocking on my door

love is a beautiful thing
love can not be forced to choose

期待你的出现

等着能接受我所有的你
等着能让我轻松做自己的你

等着能陪我共患难的你

等着个不易把我放弃的你

等着能保护我的你

我只能耐心地等待

等待着的，只有一个你

我终于领悟爱的滋味

当你能放下所有的障碍

勇敢的为一个人时

那就是爱

当你为了让他不受到伤害

而愿意不去做你平常做的事

那就是爱

当你接受他的坏

而他为你改变

那就是爱

当你能愿意付出
而不期待回报
那就是爱

爱一个人不能让他

从所爱的人或事做抉择

当我抛开我所谓的条件

打开我的心锁 放下所有的忧虑

是你让我放心 重新接受了爱

这段日子地等待都是值得的

我不要求什么

只想好好地享受这一切

去爱和被爱

把幸福紧紧的握在手里

只愿你陪我一起走下去

relatINg relationships

IN LIFE
HONESTY and TRUST comes hand in hand....
separate the two and you'll have plenty of trouble

IN any RELATIONSHIPS it takes two hands to clap...
Its never one person's fault... its both party's fault...
Assumptions are the start to all misunderstandings....
If u want others to be honest u must 1st consider if u can handle the truth.

Specially for you my Dear...

i am feeling emo today....

WHY do many ladies love soapy dramas?
cos they crave for sappy romantic love which do not exist in reality...
often i wish i was living in a novel too...
cos reality is too harsh and painful....

WHY do so many writers write sappy romantic love stories?
cos you can't find it in reality...
hoping to inspire people to express their love....
showing them such things could happen....
and that its not entirely impossible...

TO Love is to be wanted and needed by someone...
to be made an apple of someone's eye...
love is to cared for and be worried upon...

LOVE can change a person....
Love can make people do crazy things...
BUt people are soooo obsess with money,
they forget about Love and its power....

LOVE is the most powerful thing on the face of this earth
but many hide from or avoid it.
yet when given the gift, single handed ruin the chance.
give love another chance...
Don't close your door yet...
Don't let your heart harden...
not now.... not yet....