Yes. i've been behaving strangely recently. reason? I wanna know myself. depression some say, lost n confused maybe. How do i explain tis? i can't even remember when it all started, all i know is my emotions inside's like a irregular heartbeat on the ECG. Even i myself dunno when i'll go crazy, when i'm normal. Some how i kinda know wat its like to be 'in twilight zone' or 'crazy' (to see things only 1 way) wanting to get out but cannot, know its wrong but still continue to do it (u know? the kinda pp when u see them like dat u'll just wanna give them 1 tight slap n ask them to wake up?) yup i feel like dat now. Maybe i've too much time on my hands, n did too much thinking. Think untill i went bonkers or paranoid some say. But then again, if wat i thought wasn't a fact n wasn't a problem then i know i was crazy n was doing something redundant. But it is a fact n it is a problem. So to a problem there's always a solution.
Hence, i've began the quest for my solution. but first let's address these problems.
Firstly, should i be so vulnerable....
Ans.... NO.
This ends the topic altogether.
I need help... from myself.... but I am my own enemy. Revolving in a meaningless mind game called Self Pity. Only i can get myself outta this 'twilight zone', just a matter of the mind. "Mind Over matter" (Dat's how atheletes pull themselves together to continue their journey) aka Determination. (the opp: LAZINESS)
Determination.... something i donot lack but without motivation, goal or date lines this determination has become procrastination. Worse when laziness sets in.
Excuses? maybe... but truly they are my reasons. So where should i find my goal, my motivation, my date line. Can someone tell me...... pls.
or maybe i am not wanting to get out of this confort zone as much as i thought.
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