but i did not realize it was more of my character and personality that irks people.
then it don on me that i'm actually quite bimbotic and ignorant.
i dont know much about politics, economy, housing, insurance.
now i feel embarrassed abt my personality.
i'm a shamed of who i am. i turned to isolation.
i compare myself to the people around me and i'm not even on par to their level.
call me green eyed but they are some Frens i admire and wish i could be like them.
Karen Tay for her level headed-ness,
Serene Wong for her general knowledge.
Kelvin lim for his talent.
Terrence for his determination towards his passion.
Cody for his personality.
Yvonne Chong for her determination.
Shereen for her patience and determination.
Marc Chong for his patience and discipline.
People fantasize about being supers stars, singers, actors.
ME? i only fantasize about being as good as one of the above people.
its almost a yr since i gradually isolated myself from my only frens.
and i can only wonder why no one have asked me out on a one to one date like b4?
no one sat me down to really try to understand what i'm going thru?
call me self centered n inconsiderate, but i was just feeling lonely and outta sorts.
i was looking for comfort. looking for my frens but where were they?
essentially i've only 3 bunch, life saving frens, sec sch frens, and ex colleagues (almost like family).
yet to them my absence is just a mode of seeking attention.
i don't think i'm asking for much. i only want to be impt to these people.
people who values my opinions even tho they are senseless most of the time.
people who would just listen to my babbling and not give their advice.
people who would accept me and not wish i'd change even if its for the better.
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so to all my frens if u guys EVER read this post,
i can only hope u will just give me a call and date me out.
i will not initiate not bcos i'm being stubborn
but bcos just wanna know how impt i am to u.
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