My mother once told me, the reason why I behave the way I do today, is because I did not want to grow up. Day by day I begin to see the world more clearly, it is indeed an ugly world. This little gal inside of me has just came to terms with this reality. Filled with innocence, the fact of life hits her hard on the back of her head. Unable to accept or understand the fact she tries to cope with the people surrounding her. Thinking there are still kind, uncanning, selfless people around, she gets hurt over and over again. She doesn't realise it but she's being tossed around this vicious world, manipulated and used.
"Are there 'good' people in this world we live in today?" Sigh. I can only say the percentage is reducing rapidly. The influences are so strong, so dictative, seems impossible to ignore. How I wish I could turn a deaf ear or close a blind eye to all these ugliness. Why can't these differences be resolved and all work/live in harmony. Is it so difficult? The intensity of such disfigurement is beyond words. Each individual expressing his or her level of hostility, combined together and you'll get an erupting volcano. It’s truly miserable and annoying to be stuck in such a situation.
On the other hand, I attempted to change my attitude on this ugliness. I tried to see the "bright side" of things. It was only pleasant for a short period of time, and there were very little difference seen. Shortly after I reverted back to the old ways and it was almost impossible to envision the 'good' in anyone.
However, after much searching I realised it is in the attitude of the beholder to make the surrounding things pleasant. Difficult as in may be, it is still possible. In it tolerance, perseverance and acceptance are inculcated. I've yet to achieve these qualities but when I do I'll know I've grown up. I can't wait for that day to arrive.
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