NOT comfortable in my own skin..... identidy crisis....

People like to ask....

"To love or be loved...?"

But i'll go

"What is love?"

"How to love to?"

they say "love urself first"

Often i question people these Qns,

but the answers i get isn't satisfactory enough.

i was told i needed confidence,

Just be myself and relax.

but i dunno even who i really am sometimes.

Constantly searching for the person i am,

take on different personas for different situation.

Ending up tired, confused, and still lost!

My weakness is laziness and procrastination

and probably lack of self motivation.

I'm always contradicting myself,

say something but doing another.

Or sometimes not doing anything at all.

Therefore, i conclued this life to be totally wasted.

replies from a heavy heart...

its late but i'm still up.... result of excessive caffeine....
my current emotion's like a bull in a china shop, clumsy n senseless. after psyching myself 4 so long in believing i'm enjoying singlehood, loneliness sets in, lost n afraid, nowhere to find security... hurting both ways (self n others) unintentionally, crying but only from the inside, heart aches for no reason or rhyme. apprehensive to let any1 in. any remedies? i'm afraid i can only let it fade away by itself. n its killing me....

Your smile

My medication

Your words

My encouragement

Your hugs

My blanket of security

Your kisses

My candy

You

My source of happiness

this short poem... (borrowed from sheena)

____________________________________________________

unknowingly, momentarily taken the bitterness outta this aching heart and added a tinge of light into the bottomless pit of hopelessness.
as i gaze into the white wall behind my comp, it immediately turns into a screen as my eyes becomes a projector replaying the scenes from initial D. the intensity of the movie still vivid in my mind depicting the romance, the car chase, the passion of racing, relationship(father n son), and friendships.
yet another nite has come to an end... the day is breaking soon in a couple of hours, slp has become an uninvited guest to this foriegn mass. however somehow necessary to a certain extend. therefore my departure from this slpless dimension is crucial. nite